Benny’s with a spicy Dijon Hollandaise Sauce. Sounds fancy, right? Well, it’s fancy in taste but let me assure you, the process was anything but. It’s like the culinary equivalent of putting on a ball gown and then realizing you’re just going to the living room.

First off, the Hollandaise sauce. I started with the basics: half a stick of butter (because why not start your day with a casual heart attack?), two egg yolks (chickens are the real MVPs here), the juice of what I hoped was a lemon (it was on the counter, it looked like a lemon), a dash of warm water, and enough cayenne to make you question your life choices. Whisk that concoction on medium-high heat for what feels like an eternity (or five minutes, same difference), then add a dollop of Dijon mustard for that “Oh, I’m fancy” taste. Keep whisking like your life depends on it until it thickens, then turn off the heat and let it sit. It’s like a timeout for the sauce to think about what it’s done.

Next, the toast. Because if you’re going to go through the effort of making a fancy sauce, you might as well slap it on something worthy. Broil some sourdough (the bread with an identity crisis) with butter, garlic salt, and red pepper flakes. It’s like giving your bread a spa day, complete with a spicy sauna.

Poached eggs. Ah, the bane of my existence. In an effort to not completely lose my mind, I took the path of least resistance: the microwave. Yes, I microwaved eggs in water for 1 1/2 minutes, because sometimes life doesn’t give you enough time to pretend you’re on a cooking show.

The avocado was the easiest part. Just mash it up with some garlic powder, salt and pepper, and lemon juice. It’s like giving the avocado a little pep talk before it goes on stage.

To top off this culinary Frankenstein, I garnished it with fresh parsley, oregano, and more red pepper flakes, because at this point, why not? It’s like my dish was competing in a beauty pageant, and I was determined to win that tiara.

So there you have it, Benny’s with a spicy Dijon Hollandaise Sauce. It’s a dish that looks as good as it tastes, which is saying something because it looks like I actually knew what I was doing. Spoiler: I didn’t. But hey, we eat with our eyes first, right? Right.

Here’s how I made it…

Toast:
Broil sourdough with butter, garlic salt and red pepper flakes

Poached Eggs:
I took an easy path with this one as I didn’t have a lot of time to spare (mornings can be hectic!). I took a small bowl, filled half way up with warm water, added two eggs so they’re submerged in the water and microwaved for 1 1/2 minutes.

Avocado:
Mash up avocado, while adding garlic powder, S&P, fresh squeezed lemon.

I garnished the top of this with fresh parsley, oregano and added more red pepper flakes.