Capers on Pizza
You know, sometimes you stumble upon a life-changing experience and think, Wow, how was I surviving without this? This pizza is one of those moments. Seriously, capers on pizza? What an absolutely wild ride. I bet you're already judging me through your screen, thinking, "Capers on pizza? Really?" Yes, Karen. Really.
For years we’ve been wasting our time with plain old cheese pizzas, or if we were feeling “extra”, maybe tossing on some pepperoni or mushrooms. But let me tell you, we were living in a pre-caper era of ignorance. No longer. Buckle up because this pizza is about to give your taste buds a wake-up call they never saw coming.
Ingredients: A Love Story in Every Bite
Here’s what you’ll need to craft this masterpiece—because buying a ready-made pizza and pretending it’s homemade would be too easy.
Pizza Dough: Yes, store-bought. I know you’re not making dough from scratch, and frankly, neither am I.
1 Red Bell Pepper: Thinly sliced, because apparently that's the "right" way to do it.
1 Yellow Bell Pepper: For that extra splash of color because food is basically Instagram now.
1 Medium Sweet Onion: Slice it like you're auditioning for a cooking show.
1 Ball of Mozzarella Cheese: Fresh, because we have standards (barely).
1 Cup Grated Parmesan Cheese: A whole cup, because we came here to live, not diet.
1 Cup Capers: The star of the show, or so they think.
Dried Oregano: To trick yourself into believing this is an authentic Italian masterpiece.
Garlic Salt and Garlic Powder: Because what even is pizza without garlic, am I right?
Extra Virgin Olive Oil (EVOO): This sounds fancier than it actually is, but it’ll make you feel like you know what you're doing.
The Pizza-Making Journey:
Prep the Dough: Start with your store-bought pizza dough, and no, you don’t need to confess that to anyone. Brush it with a little EVOO, you know, to pretend you’ve watched an episode of Top Chef. Sprinkle some garlic powder for good measure. If you want to add more garlic salt later, that's between you and your sodium intake.
Pile On the Cheese: Take your mozzarella ball, rip it apart like it owes you money, and toss the pieces onto the dough. You could use shredded mozzarella, but we both know the cheese ball is going to impress no one but yourself. And that’s the only person who matters here.
Add the Peppers and Onions: Now for the moment of truth. Layer those thinly sliced red and yellow bell peppers with the sweet onions. These vegetables are doing their best to make you feel like you’re eating something remotely healthy. Spoiler: You’re not.
The Capers: Capers. Yes, I said capers. Pour a whole cup of them on the pizza like you’re a rebel without a cause. If you're still skeptical about capers, I’ll wait here while you question every choice you've made up until this moment.
Parmesan and Oregano: Sprinkle that cup of grated parmesan cheese like it’s your new personality. Then go ahead and add a dash of dried oregano to really drive home the whole "I’m a fancy chef" vibe.
The Final Garlic Assault: More garlic powder, more garlic salt. Why? Because we can.
Baking Instructions: The Moment of Truth
Shove that masterpiece into an oven preheated to 400°F. Bake for 15 minutes. Then, if you're feeling particularly bold (and you are), broil it for 2-3 minutes to give everything that slightly crispy, "I’m a professional" edge. This is the part where you hope you don’t burn it and your fire alarm doesn’t go off.
The Big Reveal: Is It Worth It?
When the pizza comes out, it’ll look like a colorful disaster—peppers, onions, and capers everywhere, smothered under a gooey blanket of cheese. But trust me, one bite, and you’ll wonder why the heck you’ve been holding out on capers for so long. The tangy saltiness of the capers cuts through the sweetness of the onions and peppers, balancing out the richness of the cheeses.
And there you have it. A pizza that not only tastes like it came straight out of a wood-fired oven in some rustic Italian villa (okay, maybe that’s pushing it), but one that will make you question every other pizza you’ve ever had.
Final Thoughts: Capers for Life
If you’ve made it this far and still think capers don’t belong on pizza, then congratulations, you’ve clearly been wrong before and will continue to be. But hey, more caper pizza for the rest of us. So next time you're thinking about ordering yet another basic pizza, remember: capers are out there, waiting for you to take the plunge.
And if anyone questions your new pizza obsession? Just tell them it’s gourmet and move on with your life.
Capers on Pizza
Ingredients
Instructions
- Brush bread with EVOO and sprinkle garlic powder.
- Top with mozzarella slices, peppers, onions, and capers.
- Add parmesan, oregano, more garlic powder, and garlic salt.
- Bake at 400°F for 15 minutes, then broil for 2-3 minutes.
