I like to live on the edge and pretend I'm on some sort of cooking show where everything I touch turns to gold. Spoiler alert: it doesn't. But this, my friends, this recipe is foolproof. Even I couldn't mess it up, which is saying something.

First off, you're going to need a bunch of stuff. A dozen scallops because, let's face it, if you're going to do it, do it big. Then, grab a half stick of butter because, in my professional culinary opinion, butter makes everything better. Toss in 2 tbsp of minced garlic, because vampires, and half a freshly squeezed lemon to pretend we're being healthy. Don't forget the grated Parmesan cheese, dried basil, garlic powder, salt, and pepper for, you know, flavor. And, because we're fancy, some fresh thyme.

Now, the magic begins. Or, as I like to call it, "please don't let me burn down the kitchen" time. Melt that butter in a pan, add the garlic and wait for the sizzle - it's music to my ears, honestly. Toss in the scallops like you're a pro, and sprinkle all those spices and lemon juice on top like you're conducting a symphony. After about 5 minutes, flip them over with all the grace of a clumsy ballerina, and repeat. If you're feeling adventurous (or just want to show off), broil them in the oven for a bit to get that fancy crispy top. Once they look like something out of a gourmet magazine (or close enough), sprinkle on the Parmesan and thyme. Pair with rice and broccoli, and voila, you've got yourself a dish that'll make you forget about every kitchen disaster you've ever had. Trust me, after this, you'll want to make lemon butter sauce your new religion. And if you don't, well, I might just take it personally.