Today’s special is Chick 'n' Peas Pasta with a bonus appearance from artichokes. If you’re wondering how to whip up a dish that sounds fancy but is really a desperate attempt to use whatever is left in your pantry, look no further. Here’s how I managed to pull it off.

First, I boiled water with salt and cooked the pasta. I drained it and set it aside, hoping I wouldn't forget about it later. Then, I seasoned a single chicken breast with salt and pepper, because who needs more than one? In a skillet, I heated some extra virgin olive oil (because we’re pretending to be healthy) and cooked the chicken until it was golden and cooked through. Feeling accomplished, I removed the chicken and set it aside, giving the skillet a much-needed break.

Next, I added half a stick of butter to the same skillet and sautéed a small chopped yellow onion, and garlic cloves until it was soft. Soft, not caramelized. Then I threw in a large jar of marinated artichokes and a can of peas, cooking them for about three more minutes, which gave me enough time to question my life choices.

Returning the chicken to the skillet, I squeezed half a lemon over it and added half a cup of grated Parmesan cheese, garlic powder (because fresh garlic is too much work), crushed red pepper flakes for an unexpected kick, dried oregano, and basil. I tossed in the pasta and mixed everything together, hoping it would taste as good as it smelled.

For the finishing touch, I garnished the dish with parsley and sprinkled a little more Parmesan cheese all over, because every dish deserves a last-minute attempt to look like it wasn’t a complete disaster.

And there you have it. Chick 'n' Peas Pasta…with artichokes too. Enjoy the sarcastic satisfaction of knowing you’ve made something deceptively fancy with minimal effort.