If you’re anything like me, you probably love the idea of combining sweet, savory, and a hint of "Are you kidding me?" into your snacks. Enter the scene: ‘Everything’ Honey Goat Cheese Pastries. Yeah, you heard that right. It’s like someone dared to ask, "What if we took something already perfect and made it even better?" and this was the delicious answer.

First off, shoutout to Vermont Creamery for their Everything flavored Goat Cheese. If goat cheese were a superhero, this would be it wearing a cape, flying around saving bland foods everywhere. You’ll need some crescent sheet dough, this magical goat cheese, honey (don’t skimp on this), and if you’re feeling extra – throw in some everything seasoning and fresh thyme.

Now, let’s talk about how I, in my infinite wisdom and culinary prowess, turned these simple ingredients into a snack that’ll have you questioning every life choice that led you to this moment because clearly, they were all leading up to this. Preheat your oven to a toasty 420 degrees. Unleash your inner artist and roll out that dough, slicing it into what I call “strips of potential”. Smack a chunk of that everything goat cheese in the middle, fold it, and seal it like a secret you’re not supposed to tell. Toss those bad boys onto a baking sheet, sprinkle with optional (but highly recommended) everything seasoning, and bake until they’re golden like the locks of a Greek god. Then, the pièce de résistance, drown them in honey. Because if you’re going to do it, overdo it. Garnish with fresh thyme to make it look like you know what you’re doing, and voilà!

So there you have it, folks. ‘Everything’ Honey Goat Cheese Pastries. If you make these and don’t immediately feel a sense of achievement, check your pulse. You might be dead inside. Enjoy responsibly, or don’t. I’m not your mom.