Ah, shrimp scampi. The culinary equivalent of a bear hug from an Italian grandmother you never knew you had. It's like the comfort food of the sea, except it doesn't come with a side of seasickness. This dish is my ride or die, my culinary soulmate, the Robin to my Batman. And let me be clear, I like my scampi like I like my relationships: cheesy, garlicky but not too heavy because, let’s face it, nobody wants to feel like they're drowning in dairy.

So, here's how you whip up this plate of heaven. First, you grab a bag of frozen raw shrimp. Yes, frozen. We're not all living three steps from the ocean, folks. Then, you scavenge for some pasta. I went with linguine because it's fancy-sounding and I like to pretend I'm in an Italian bistro rather than my tiny, somewhat clean kitchen. You'll also need minced garlic (because what’s life without a little garlic breath?), half a stick of butter (sorry arteries), oregano, basil, salt & pepper, garlic powder, a splash of white wine (one for the pan, two for me), chicken broth, a half-squeezed lemon (watch out for those seeds), Parmesan cheese (the good stuff, not the kind you find in the back of your fridge), and red pepper flakes if you're feeling spicy.

Now, the cooking part. Boil water and cook your pasta like you're auditioning for a spot on a cooking show. Then, in a frying pan on medium-high heat, sauté butter and minced garlic like they owe you money. Add the shrimp and cook them like you're trying to impress someone. Once they're done, toss in the chicken broth, oregano, basil, lemon, garlic powder, red pepper flakes, and white wine. Let it simmer for about 2 minutes while you contemplate your life choices. Add the pasta to the pan, stir in some more red pepper flakes, salt & pepper, and a little more Parmesan cheese because, honestly, is there such a thing as too much cheese? Finally, garnish with parsley to make it look like you know what you're doing. And there you have it, shrimp scampi so good, it'll make you forget about all the dishes you've just dirtied. Enjoy!